There is a belief among some that one week from today, the rapture will occur. This might cause a dilemma if you are a devout Christian and animal lover who worries that your pets might not have a soul (and therefore won’t be taken with you).
Never fear, atheists are willing to come to the rescue. There are at least two different services who, for a fee, are willing to promise you that one of their network of non-Christian volunteers will come and get your pet, promising that it will be taken care of for the rest of its life.
I would like to be added to your service committee. I am an avid animal lover, rehabilitator, and rescue volunteer. Your soulless pets will be well taken care of by me and my Atheist cohorts. We offer our services…of course for a fee. Otherwise we'll eat them. Dogs make good jerky.