This weekend I attended a party for my great aunt and uncle’s 50th wedding anniversary. In addition to family, numerous old friends were there- including people who had grown up with my great aunt and gone to school with her. With so many guests, they were often in different places. They didn’t even sit at the same table when it came time to eat. When they came up to cut the cake, I joked that it was the first time I’d seen them together all afternoon, and was that the secret to 50 years. I believe my great uncle nodded.
Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category
Your Money Friday: Money and Dating
13
Jul
Dating is one of those areas where personal finances become tricky. Should a man pay for all dates, with the woman reciprocating with homemade meals? Should it be split as close to 50/50 as possible? Does it matter if she makes a lot more than he does? Or what if they make roughly the same amount?
Many don’t discuss finances on a first date. Is it okay to alter the financial terms of the relationship (such as who pays) when you do reveal your salaries? And how would you do that without seeming like a jerk? Any thoughts are welcome.
Your Money Friday: The Money Talk
15
Jun
There comes a point in every long term relationship where the partners need to sit down and have “the money talk”. What are their respective financial situations? For some people this conversation comes very early on, and for others it doesn’t come until after engagement or even marriage (though I’d recommend it happened before that).
It’s not an easy conversation to have, as money can trigger strong emotions in many people. The key to having a productive conversation about money with your partner? Each partner should remain calm and open, to remember this isn’t about judging, but about moving forward.
Your Money Friday: Family Heirlooms
01
Jun
What makes something a family heirloom? When do you have the right to be mad that someone else sold or gave away something you might have liked?
My opinion- monetary or historical value does not make something a family heirloom. In order for it to make heirloom status, there needs to be emotional significance attached. Without the emotional component, it’s just stuff. Sure it may be cool stuff, or stuff worth money, but it’s still just stuff.
So before you get mad at a relative who has otherwise done right by you, consider if it is actually emotionally worth it.
In Praise of Road Trips
20
May
In my early 20s, road trips were fun adventures with friends. They were often about the destination, but the drive itself always resulted in some good stories. In my mid-30s, I still enjoy road trips, and I enjoy them for the trip itself.
These last two weekends, I have had the opportunity to take road trips with some of my favorite people. Last week it was with members of my critique group, and then yesterday with C.
It’s dedicated conversation time, where no one feels like they should be doing something else, and it’s just a nice way to connect.
Your Money Friday: Live with Roommates?
11
May
This has been a hot topic over at YM all week. Would you live with roommates to save money? A majority of the regular YM posters are 30s or older, with established families, so a lot of the instant reactions were along the lines of “not at my age” “I am too set in my ways to live with anyone” and “with kids in the house, absolutely not”.
Still, one of the defining factors of how people answered this thread was whether they considered roommates to be random strangers found through an ad in the paper, or friends or family.
Your Money Friday: Talking About Money
04
May
Back in the first post for The Dog Ate My Wallet, I wrote about My Money Philosophy. I believe that personal finances shouldn’t be a taboo subject. I believe that we would all be better able to make good financial decisions if people were willing to talk about money. However, I’m definitely in the minority. I knew that, but threads like “How much do you tell people about your money?” really bring it home. And that seems wasteful to me. No wonder kids know nothing about money when the people who have made smart decision refuse to talk about it.
Movie Review: Off and Running
22
Apr
Off and Running is a documentary a very untraditional family. Made up of a Jewish lesbian couple and their three adopted children, a Puerto Rican boy, an African American girl, and a younger Korean son. The focus is on Avery, the daughter, as she tries to establish contact with her birth mother and begins to connect to her African American heritage.
It was an interesting look into how rejection from someone you have never met can change a life. Avery responds by rejecting her adoptive family until she reaches a crisis point, when she reaches back out for their support.
Blog Feature: Family Money Values
21
Apr
I absolutely love the concept behind Family Money Values- basically, Marie believes money is a family issue, not something secret to be hid from your parents or your children. She believe the path to growing wealth, real wealth, takes generations, and specifically, generations working together to accomplish the goal.
This week, she wrote about the lessons learned from their first family meeting- what went right, what went wrong, and what they needed to change in the future.
I love this concept and hope that I will be able to take Marie’s teachings in to my own family as it grows.
Your Money Friday: Money in Relationships
30
Mar
I’m about to ask you the most basic, most important question there is when handling finances within a relationship- Are you and your partner on the same page?
Don’t answer right away. Think about it.
This question is brought to us by the thread: Just need to vent, SO is losing their job. I know, they don’t sound related, and that’s part of why the question is so important. Because anything, even when people are on firm financial footing, can bring that question into play. How it’s answered or dealt with can spell the continuation or end of the relationship.