25 Things
I often see posts where the blogger puts up a list of things their readers might not know about them. I always love those “getting to know you” posts, and yet I’ve never really done one myself, partly because I feel that I am pretty darn transparent already. Recently though, a 25 Things meme has been going around among my Facebook (ie real life) friends, and I challenged myself to write one. I would say most of the people on FB knew some of what was on my list, but none knew everything (except maybe C).
As I ease myself back into regular blogging, I thought I would start off September with that list, modified somewhat based on the difference between what I share on FB and on the blogs. There is very little “financial” in this post (item #6 is the closest we get), but I hope that getting to know me a little better might help give readers some insight into why I make some of the financial decisions I do.
1) I am a writer. I do not say this because I have had pieces published; I say it because I can’t not write. I write fiction (which is hard) and I write what amounts to personal essays (which are easy), also called blog posts. I have three blogs that I currently maintain – one on personal finance, one on pets, and one about writing (though the last one is updated rarely). When I am not writing on paper, I am writing in my head. In fact, I’ve re-written most of the items on this list at least 3 times before actually sitting down to type it out.
2) I think faith is a superpower. And the collective faith of a community is one of the strongest forces this world has ever seen. It leaves me in awe.
3) That said, I am an atheist and humanist. Not because I don’t think there are powers at work that we do not understand but because I think much of the tragedy in human history has been caused by people caring too much about what happens in the next world, the next life. Can you imagine what this world could be like if we took all the energy that people devote toward caring about the “after life” and instead focused it on making this life, this world, better? I choose not to focus on what will happen after I die but instead on making this life the best it can be and leaving the world and the lives of those around me at least a little better for my presence.
4) Oddly enough, I have never been a big fan of John Lennon’s Imagine. Obviously, I agree with the message, but as a song, it’s just never really worked for me. Whereas Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah remains one of the most powerful pieces of music I have ever heard.
5) Joseph Campbell’s Hero with a Thousand Faces is one of my favorite books not just on storytelling but on the human condition. If you ever need a reminder that no matter our differences, we are all the same, pick it up.
6) A very large part of my identity and sense of self-worth comes from my career and ability to support my family. Perhaps a bit too much. The one time C started making more money than me, I went out and looked for a new, better paying job. When he completes his PhD in math and goes back into the work force, no matter how good it will be for our family, it will be a very difficult adjustment for me if he’s making more, or even close, to what I make.
7) My older brother has been one of the biggest influences in my life. I am a Raiders fan because he was a Raiders fan. I read science fiction and fantasy because that is what he read. I first played D&D because my big brother was playing it, and I wanted to be able to tag along. He introduced me to tarot, anime, and heavy metal. To this day if he recommends a book, movie or television show, I’ll check it out.
8) I have never read Tolkien- not even The Hobbit.
9) I do not like violence, and yet my favorite sports are all hard hitting, full contact- roller derby, hockey, football. I am constantly amazed at the jammer moving through the pack, the perfectly executed pass through traffic, and those days when the quarterback and his receivers seem to operate with the same mind. I cringe at the major hits, and yet I know that without that threat of violence, I have a hard time appreciating the skill involved. And I find that I don’t know if I like that about myself or not.
10) I had a third grandmother growing up. Her name was Lizbeth. She once took my brother and I to church. We were the only white people there. But she told the world we were her grandchildren, because my father was like a son to her. It was one of my first lessons that families are made by choice, not just by birth, and that love is so much more important that blood.
11) At home, I am messy. I often wish I had a nice clean house, but not so much that I actually do anything about it. I am the complete opposite of this at work. At work, everything has its place. During down times, my desk might get a little messy. But if I have a major project or a busy time looming, I am not able to fully concentrate unless I clean and organize my desk first.
12) I am a flaming feminist. I saw something the other day that went roughly like “feminism – the only place where people get more radical as they get older” and I have to agree. I was lucky to grow up knowing I could do or be anything I wanted to. And as a young woman, I might have told you that we had already achieved equality. I see today that while we are so much closer than we once were, we are not there yet. And it truly seems that the second we stop pushing for that next mile (in order to gain an inch), someone is trying to push us back by a foot. Sadly, it appears this isn’t true only in feminist movement, but in the equal rights movement in general.
13) I love hearing viewpoints that are different from mine or challenge mine because it forces me to think and examine myself. I prefer open discussion and debate in most things and know that my beliefs and opinions have evolved in the past and I hope are still evolving and growing.
14) Because I try to be open and accepting of other people’s life decisions, I often keep to myself when I disagree with statements made by other people. However, I cannot, and do not, tolerate messages of hate or the idea that some groups of people have the right to force their decisions, their version of morality, on to others. I will always speak out against those messages.
15) I own the DVD of The Replacements starring Gene Hackman and Keanu Reeves. I have never opened it. But, if I am flipping channels and come across that movie, I will stop instantly and watch it, no matter where in the movie it is.
16) When I was in first grade, I would get home from school to see the last 15-30 minutes of Old Yeller ever day (my best friend’s little sister’s favorite movie). We would follow that by watching Grease two-three times in a row. (In later years, a viewing of Grease was always followed by Grease 2.)
17) When my grandfather died when I was a freshman in high school, I took all of his Sinatra records. I still have them. I might even have a turntable in the basement, too. Musically the biggest divide between C and I is that I am a Sinatra girl while he prefers Dean Martin.
18) We have chosen to grow our family through adoption- both pets and child. This means that we have been dependent on other people making bad decisions. It leads to moments when we curse the former “parents” for the damage they have done, and yet, we must recognize that if they had not made those mistakes, we would not have the creatures we love, which in turn leads to us being grateful for that exact damage. It is not an easy place to be sometimes, and it is why I will never judge someone for not adopting- children or pets.
19) When I was in my late teens/early 20s, I saw both Johnny Cash and Harry Belafonte in concert. These two things alone made living in Reno for 12 years worth it.
20) C and I met while pretending to be vampires and playing rock paper scissors. Last Friday, we celebrated 10 years of marriage.
21) Our room has two dog beds, a cushioned “den” area for June, and a foam footstool right next to the bed for the dogs to sleep on. And yet, I am always sad when they choose to sleep in one of those places instead of on the bed with us.
22) I love algebra and algebraic problem solving. Even when using Excel or a calculator, I will often write out a problem long hand and work it myself.
23) My BA is in history. Most of my classes were in American history, but I couldn’t tell you when the Revolutionary War ended, or even the dates of the Civil War. For the most part, I am content to remember the order in which events happened and roughly what decade they happened in.
24) I would give up the microwave before I gave up the rice cooker.
25) My mother is an amazing letter writer. She spent her 60th birthday with the same friend she spent her 16th birthday with. I, on the other hand, have a hard time remaining connected to all the people who live in the same city as me that I wish I could spend more time with. I have the most amazing network of friends imaginable, and yet I see maybe only 25% of them on a regular basis. I often tell myself I need to work on this, to be more proactive in setting up chances to get together, but then I don’t. And it has nothing to do with them. I make excuses about time and energy and the dogs, but what it comes down to is a fear of rejection, a fear that maybe they won’t like me as much as I like them. It’s silly and it’s unfounded, but it’s still there.
