Before anyone gets all excited here, I am not coming out as a lesbian, or even bi-sexual. Nor am I expressing support for the “mistress” in a non-open relationship. But I feel this is important to say because for a decade and a half, from my late teens to my early thirties, I would have told you that I did not like other women. That I got along with men, but not women. I just did not have anything in common with them. I will also tell you that this was demonstrably not true. During those years, I did have more male friends than female friends, but with the exception…

Dear Young Men Sitting Next to Me at Starbucks: I do not know you. I did not interact with you in any way. But you sat at the tiny table right next to mine, and I could not help but overhear your conversation and notice your interactions, and there are some things I would like to tell you. Because I must refer to you as something, I am going to call the one who plays football Jock Bro-Dude, the one who plays drums Musician Bro-Dude, and the one who wants to be seen as a leader and not as a bro-dude as Wanna Be.   Jock Bro-Dude: You are annoying.…

Remember how I wrote about needing to find a new love? A new project or story or character to fall in love with? I think I have an idea. Well, actually, I had an idea, and I started working on all the technical aspects of it, because setting up web pages is fun, while actually writing is hard work. But thinking about how much writing I wanted to have done before I officially launched the new project seemed daunting. Because it needs to not just be written but critiqued and edited. And that is when it occurred to me. I have a ton of writing done and critiqued (though it…

One of the things we have tried to establish in our house since Pop Tart joined us is the family dinner. Even before she came, we tried to have a once a week whole house dinner with roomie J. But especially once Pop Tart came, we started eating dinner at the table, all of us together, every night. It is a habit that has stuck. I am not saying that we are perfect at this. Some nights one of us is sick and gets brought dinner in our bedroom. Occasionally we are doing something where we eat dinner on TV trays in the living room. But for the most part,…

The problem with having a mid-life crisis is that recognizing you are having one does not make it go away. And sadly, these things are not like a two week flu. They apparently stick around for a while. Being okay with being 40 does not make this random need for “new” in my life go away. I am not the only person in my friend group experiencing a mid-life crisis right now. One my oldest friends (we have known each other since high school) has basically completely blown up his life. He apparently decided it was time to completely start over, and *poof* moved without really telling anyone. As much…

Today I turn 40. I have truly reached middle aged. I no longer even qualify as thirty-something. Instead, I am the big 4-0. I do not mind. I have no problem with being the age I am. I love my life, and am very happy with where I am. At the same time, I honestly do not know how I got here. A lot of the time I feel like I should just be turning 30. And yet, I look back at the last 10 years, since I did turn 30, and am amazed at all the changes. I have some amazing friends who I did not even know back…

One of my rules is to never claim something has happened “for a reason”. As a foster parent, and as an adoptive parent, I cannot imagine anything so cruel as to tell the children in my care that there was a “reason” they had to go through what they have gone through. Sometimes people do bad or careless things. Sometimes the sickness wins. There does not have to be a reason. It just is. But what we can do is look for the good, or at least the hope, that can come out of these events. Because good things can come from bad. This last week, a man I knew…