Here’s my advice: If you have a family member who you might become responsible for should they lose the ability to care for themselves, get the Power of Attorney documents now, and get involved now. Know what they have out there.

 

The More You Know: We are in the process of applying for Medicaid for my mother-in-law. It has become increasingly clear that she may never leave care again. And even if she does, it will not be before her 100 days of Medicare covered care are up. And that may end even before 100 days because Medicare covers rehab care, not custodial, and if the MIL doesn’t start improving soon, there’s no rehab.

The Medicaid application itself is not a problem- IF you already know someone’s financial picture.

WashingtonState’s application can be done online, and since we have had financial DPOA and have been managing her finances for years, most of the information they are asking for I have at my fingertips.

I am the one who set up all of her online accounts, so I know her checking and savings balances. I know how much her monthly rent is. I know what her social security disability and other disability income amounts to.

I know how much her condo is worth, how much rent she receives, the mortgage payment, and the HOA dues.

But let’s be clear- I know this because I have been managing her finances for over 3 years. I know this information, but she wouldn’t.

For information I don’t know off the top of my head, like property taxes, I have all the information I need to go look those up, too.

In all honesty, given our particular situation, this was turning out to be a fairly quick and easy process. Until…

 

Hitting a Roadblock: The MIL has two whole life policies with Physician’s Mutual. She used to have three, but she missed payments on them during the months before we took over her finances and they refused to reinstate the third.

Since then, I’ve stopped making the monthly payments and just do one big payment at the beginning of the year (and it isn’t even all that big). That way, there’s really not a danger of missing it.

I even went on to the Physician’s Mutual site and set up an online account there, so that we could access the information relating to the account without a problem.

Problem- the site doesn’t anywhere tell you what the account is worth. I know that we make a payment to the life insurance every year, but I have no idea how much her policies are for.

So I called Physician’s Mutual.

First thing you need to know- C and I have made a conscious decision that I never misrepresent myself as her (except in dire circumstances- happened once back on 2000, which is a different story). So I called and identified myself as me, her DIL and DPOA.

I explained that the MIL is currently mentally incapacitated and that we’re trying to get the information for the Medicaid application. I just needed to know if I was looking in the wrong spot online to find out the value of her policies, or if they could tell me the value.

 

Let’s be clear here. Even if we did not have DPOA, given his mother’s current mental state, C would have the legal right and responsibility to manage her finances as well as her medical decisions. We would need this information for the Medicaid application, regardless.

 

Here’s what I was told. They could not even tell me how to navigate the site knowing I was not her. They would not give me any information until I had faxed in the DPOA, and they had time to scan it into their system. In addition, the fax with the DPOA must include any policy numbers associated with her account. It would take up to 72 hours after I faxed the information in before it was associated with the account.

 

What Happens If…?: Do you see the problem? If we hadn’t had the POA paperwork already signed, they wouldn’t talk to us at all. If we hadn’t been involved in her finances and known her policy numbers, they would not associate the POA paperwork with her account, and hence, they would not talk to us.

 

How do people manage this process when they aren’t already managing these processes? I’m frustrated by the fact that they won’t even tell me how to navigate the site, but at least I know that in three days, they will have the paperwork that says they legally have to disclose this information to me. But what about for people for whom their loved one’s medical issue came suddenly?

C was once declared his mother’s temporary guardian- back in 2000. That takes time and a lawyer.

 

We are honestly the best case scenario for this kind of issue. And yet, we still find it frustrating and somewhat time consuming. (In all honesty, if it weren’t for having to wait for the life insurance company, the Medicaid application would have taken me at most 30 minutes to fill out, since I have or know where to find all the information they are asking for.) I can not imagine what it would be like if we were not so well prepared.

 

Be Prepared: For your own sanity, I repeat my advice from the start of this article. If you have a family member, who is not your spouse, for whom you would become the medical/financial decision maker should something happen, get your POA done now.

That saves you the time and expenses of having to go through the courts to be appointed guardian and lets you start moving on the process right away.

Get involved in their finances now. Or at least, get the information you would need to access their finances- account and policy numbers, user ids and passwords for online accounts.

Even if you don’t have to manage their day to day finances like we do for the MIL, the quicker and easier it is for you to obtain their information, well, the quicker and easier the process is in general.

And let’s be honest. When you are dealing with the fact that someone you love is no longer capable of taking care of themselves, your energy and patience for dealing with all the bureaucratic is next to non-existent.