As I’ve mentioned before, I am job hunting. I’m not going all out and I am being selective about what jobs I am applying to. (Though I am trying to remember what I’ve learned about men applying to jobs where they meet 50% of the requirements and women feeling the need to meet at least 80%, and applying to a few “stretch” opportunities.) But job applications also mean job rejections. And I’m fine with that. However, I think some organizations could learn to write a better rejection letter.

Today, I received this email from a local government entity:

Dear Erin:

Thank you for applying for the position of Finance Manager with the XXX. We truly appreciate the time and effort you spent in completing the application and providing the supplemental information requested. A careful review of all applicants’ qualifications was conducted and we regret to inform you that another candidate was selected for this position.

Thank you for your interest in employment with XXX. You are encouraged to visit our website at XXXX for other job opportunities.

Does anything seem wrong with this letter to you? For the most part, it’s simple and lets me know I did not get the job. However, one of the things you are encouraged strongly to think about when writing your resume and cover letter is word choice and phrasing, and there is a combination of phrases in this letter that makes it seem disingenuous to me.

“A careful review of all applicants’ qualifications” Since I did not even get an interview, it sounds like I’m being politely told I was not qualified for the position. But it’s immediately followed by…

“We regret to inform you” Except that you don’t. Well, maybe it’s possible my application came in too late to be considered in the first round of candidates from which you selected and you really do wish you had a chance to interview me, but since this is a form letter, I’m not buying that. In fact, I’m pretty certain that you have sent out an email to your organization in which you are thrilled to announce that you’ve hired someone. And you should be.

Please, if you are an HR professional, or anyone sending out letters like this, do not feel like you have to apologize to people for not hiring them. I like being informed that the position was filled, but you don’t have to pretend you are sorry it was not me that filled it, especially since the first half of that sentence makes it sound like you did not consider me qualified.

The final sentence of that first paragraph would work so much better if it read simply. “Another candidate was selected for this position.” This removes any value judgments about my qualifications as a candidate and offers no false regret on the part of the letter writer. And yet it conveys exactly the message they want to impart – The job is closed. We picked someone. It wasn’t you.

As a writer, I will always tell you that word choice matters. As someone involved in the hiring process, I will definitely tell you word choice and phrasing matter when applying for jobs. And as a job seeker, I would like to tell others involved in hiring that word choice and phrasing are not things you can throw aside when you’re the one with the power. Word choice and phrasing always matter, especially if you want qualified people to continue to apply for your positions.