I hope everyone out there is having a wonderful Thanksgiving. I myself know that I am blessed and have many, many things to be thankful for, including all of the readers of this blog and my fellow Yaezie members. But along with the standard wonderful husband, great friends, two wriggly doggies, food on the table and a roof over our heads, I wanted to take a moment to be thankful for blessings in disguise.

 

I am thankful C was laid off in May 2009. I know that seems counter-intuitive. At the time it happened, I was not thankful in the least. It meant we couldn’t move the MIL out of our house as soon as we wanted. (In fact, it took another 7 months.) It meant that suddenly I had to stress about how we were going to pay all of our bills. The decision to go with the 3 year financing for the lower interest rate on our car suddenly seemed like the worst decision we’d ever made.

And honestly, the next 9 months were probably the most stressful ever in our relationship.

So why would I be grateful for something that was so harrowing at the time?

 

First, because we both know our relationship was tested during that time. In addition to living with the MIL and being stressed about money, we lost our beloved Moree dog, an Australian Shepherd we’d had since shortly after moving in together.

If there was a time when we were going to fall apart, revert to our pre-marriage days of losing communication with each other, this was when it was going to happen. It didn’t. We came out the other side as a stronger couple than we went in.

 

Second, because it allowed us some freedom around our pets. After losing Moree, I managed to go one week before I was looking for a new dog. The only reason it was a whole two weeks after we lost him before June came home was because the shelter wouldn’t release her until she was spayed. There is no way we could have brought home June if C had been working. She was a 6 month old puppy. We couldn’t have done it.

When Smokey was diagnosed with cancer this spring, and we chose palliative care, C being home (combined with our roommate at the time, who was also not working) meant that for that last week of his life, our Smokey angel never had to be left alone. That may seem silly to others, but to me it was a blessing. Yes, I was very grateful that I had not just one, but two unemployed people in my house that week.

 

Third, and most relevant to this blog, we are actually in better shape financially than we would have been were C still working. Yes, my new position helped with that tremendously, but the truth is, I make a little less now than we used to make combined. If he were working, we’d combine for over 6 figures.

But going through those 9 months of trying to figure out how we were going to get by, of putting together a plan to get ourselves out of debt, of figuring out how we could pay all the bills on under 60k a year, it made us think about our finances in a way we never had to before.

We carried credit card debt. I paid more than the minimums each month. Occasionally, we’d pay everything off, but we had no problems charging more. I couldn’t even tell you everything we bought. Now, credit cards are a tool, and they never carry a balance. That wouldn’t have happened otherwise.

We have a financial plan. If C ever starts working again, everything he makes is extra. Will there be some lifestyle creep? Almost certainly, but we’ll have learned enough to have a plan for the money (mostly home renovations).

We have savings. If we’d had savings when C was laid off like we do now, I wouldn’t have had to stress about making the car payment. We could have paid off most, if not all, debt almost instantly.

 

Fourth, C has gotten to go back to school. C and I both love learning. It didn’t bother either of us that I had an MBA and he had an AA, but he had always wanted to be able to finish his Bachelor’s, but the time and real motivation were not there. Now, he’s able to go to school and concentrate on school. He’s finding he loves a field he never thought he’d be interested in (math), and is considering making a career out of it.

By being free from having a job, by having the financial freedom we’d earned for ourselves during those initial stressful months, we made this possible together. And we’re able to do it without taking on any more student loans.

 

It seems odd to be thankful for something that had such a difficult adjustment period, but thankful I am. Something I’ve come to realize is that I really like where my life is today, emotionally and financially. And I wouldn’t be in this place without everything that has come before. So even the difficult things I can find something to be grateful for. (Except for maybe losing Moree and Smokey, though if we hadn’t, we wouldn’t have June and Larry, so there’s the rub.)

 

I hope you have a moment to reflect and find the things in life you’re grateful for, even the counter-intuitive ones.