Has it really been a year? It is time, once again, for Women’s Money Week. Let me be honest, everything I say in any of these posts applies to men as well as women, but I do think it is important to have events that focus on women and their relationships with money. Why? Because in a lot of ways, men are still seen as the bread winners and financial decision makers. It is less true than it once was, but it is still there. And the research has shown, over and over again, that in order for people to believe they can succeed at something , they need to see people LIKE THEM doing it. And since talking about money still seems to be taboo in everyday life, we need events like this to remind people- you can do this. And if you have questions- ask.

The theme for Wednesday is Family and Money. Go here to see links to everyone who has participated in today’s theme.

I’ve written a lot of posts that could fall into the Family and Money category, from managing my mother-in-law’s finances to loaning my brother money, from a death in the family (for last year’s Women’s Money Week) to the financial reasons behind our decision to adopt. In that sense, I think I may have hit all the really big issues. So what do I write about this year? Can you say “update”?

 

Managing the MIL’s finances. Considering she died a year ago this week, you would think there wasn’t a lot to update here, but the truth is, we’re still not fully squared away. She had stocks with CompuShare that were managed by her life insurance company, so when they sent us the life insurance checks, they sent us the paperwork to switch the shares into C’s name. Except that the forms ask for information we don’t readily have. We think we have it in her paperwork, but haven’t actually sat down to look for it.

We were still paying some medical bills for her up until only a month or two ago. Because her hospitalization spanned two years and two different insurance companies (with her being in intensive care when they changed), it took a long time to get all the bills sent to the right insurance companies, and then for them to come back to us with what her estate actually owed. I was amused by the last bill we got which was threatening to send her to collections, despite the fact that it was the first correct bill for that charge that we’d ever gotten. Go ahead and send a dead woman to collections.

 

Death in the Family. We just closed the estate account in February, finally certain that all of her outstanding bills had been paid. The deed to her condo in NV has been transferred into C’s name, and the mortgage company has been sent the paperwork. They haven’t changed the name on the account to ours, but we were told that was to be unexpected. Either the mortgage company would pay attention and force us to pay off the mortgage, or it would basically ignore it and let us continue as is, as long as they get their money every month. We’re leaving it at that as the rent that comes in on the condo more than pays for its expenses.

However, we haven’t officially closed probate yet, because we’re lazy. We spent so much energy getting everything together to refinance our house, that we haven’t wanted to spend the time gathering all the paperwork to close probate, but we still need to do that. And no, it is not abnormally long to have probate open for a year or more. If there  were more outstanding debts they could still be collected from the estate for another couple of years.

 

Loaning my brother money. He paid it all back on the schedule we set for repayment. I know a lot of people argue against loaning family money, and in some cases, I don’t disagree. However, that’s not a concern I have with my brother. He paid us back. His business is doing well, though the slow months were a little slower than they anticipated, it was their first year running a hostel through the winter season, so it’s to be expected that there was some learning that needed to happen.

At the same time, he and his business partners are looking at options to expand, and he is, in general, very happy with his decision to start his own business. And I am happy that we were able to help him out at a time he needed it.

 

Financial reasons for adoption. I don’t know that there’s an update to the financial reasons behind our decision, but there is an update to the financial status (and overall status) to the process. With our homestudy finally complete, this month we paid the last of the $5,000 we will need to pay to the agency if we adopt from foster care (which is the most likely scenario).

We are currently waiting on our foster care license, but otherwise are in the child match portion of adoption (where we’re looking for the right child for us). It is a very exciting time, though also a bit scary. The right kid could come along at any time.

Financially that means that I have worked out where in our budget day care costs will come from if they are needed. We have agreed that the first weekend we have a kid will be one where we spend money getting the things we need. Since our foster care license is for kids anywhere from 0-15, there’s not a whole lot we can do in advance, other than save money up and be okay with spending it when the time comes.

 

Money and family both touch every aspect of our lives. There’s no point in saying they don’t or thinking they won’t interact. So for me, the best thing to do is to think about, and talk about, how they do or will interact, so that I am as prepared for any situation as I can be.