Has it really been a year? It is time, once again, for Women’s Money Week. Let me be honest, everything I say in any of these posts applies to men as well as women, but I do think it is important to have events that focus on women and their relationships with money. Why? Because in a lot of ways, men are still seen as the bread winners and financial decision makers. It is less true than it once was, but it is still there. And the research has shown, over and over again, that in order for people to believe they can succeed at something , they need to see people LIKE THEM doing it. And since talking about money still seems to be taboo in everyday life, we need events like this to remind people- you can do this. And if you have questions- ask.

The theme for Tuesday is Finding Time and Increasing Productivity. Go here to see links to everyone who has participated in today’s theme.

For those of you who don’t know, I also write a pet blog called Life by Pets. Earlier this year, I participated in something called the Pet Blogger Challenge, which is more about us as bloggers than about our pets at all. One of the questions that kept coming up throughout the challenge posts had to do with how people managed their blogging time, that it seemed like there was always too much to do.

I answered as best I could with the following advice:

Secret 1- I don’t try to be perfect. While my blogs are mostly supposed to run at specific times on specific days of the week, if something comes up, I try not to stress about it. A trip to the dog park is more important that making my 4:30pm(Pacific) publishing time on Dog Ate My Wallet. Getting the grocery shopping done takes priority over getting Saturday’s blog round-up posted. And if I skip a day on 100 Words On, then I skip a day.

Secret 2- I don’t try to do everything. Both Life by Pets and Dog Ate My Wallet have pretty long blog rolls, if you go to the Complete Blogroll and Links pages. I tried reading every single one of those blogs on a regular basis, and I couldn’t do it. Instead, you’ll notice on the sidebar, the blogroll there only have 15 blogs listed at a time. The widget displays them randomly, so I have no control over what blogs are on there at any given time. My goal is to read the 15 blogs that are listed on that sidebar twice a week for each of my blogs. Mondays & Wednesdays I read personal finance blogs. Tuesdays & Thursdays I read pet blogs. That’s 60 blogs a week. If some of my favorite blogs don’t show up on the blogrolls on those days, on Fridays, I’ll go read those. Still, I’m at less than 70 blogs a week.

Secret 3- I only comment when I have something to say. I probably should comment more. I know I love it when I get comments. At the same time, I am busy. I am the sole breadwinner. I run three regular blogs and a 4th “when the inspiration strikes” blog. I write fiction. I have three dogs that need to be taken care. And sometimes, I’d like to just spend some time hanging out with C. So I don’t force myself to comment if I don’t have anything to say. I hope that means that when I do comment, I am adding to the conversation, or at least expressing my sincere thoughts/reactions.

While my detailed answers dealt specifically with blogging, I think the general answers apply everywhere.

Secret 1- I don’t try to be perfect. That’s not quite true, some things I do try to be perfect on, but those are a very few select things. I accept that many things can fall into the category of “good enough”. The dogs don’t need 90 minutes at the dog park every day. Sometimes, they have to settle for a 15 minute walk. Clean dishes can remain in the dishwasher for an extra day, and bedding can remain in the dryer until someone else needs to do laundry or I feel like putting it away. I have to accept that my priorities may not match what other people (including my mother) think they should be, and be okay with that.

Secret 2- I don’t try to do everything. I am responsible for dinner only one night a week in my house. Otherwise, husband C or roommate J are on deck for feeding us all. J will often do last minute runs to the grocery store, or feed the dogs if we have to leave the house before their normal dinner time. I have learned to ask for help when I need it. I am still working on this, but I am getting better. Instead of pushing myself to the brink of exhaustion and making myself sick, I ask someone else to put away the dishes.

Secret 3 – I only comment when I have something to say. That’s pretty blogging specific, but I think can easily be changed to: I only schedule time for those things that are my priorities. We have no set schedule for doing laundry or vacuuming the house. Those things get done as they need to. (It’s part of not being perfect.) However, activities that are important to me get put on a schedule. I go to my writing critique group every other Sunday. I show up over an hour early to guarantee myself writing time. C and I go grocery shopping together every Friday afternoon. (Okay, sometimes that gets pushed to Saturday, but we still shop together 95% of the time.) We plan major home projects in advance. Get togethers with friends are put on the calendar, and we arrange the rest of our schedule around them. If it is not important enough to me that I will schedule a specific day or time to do something, than I accept that sometimes whatever it is might fall through the cracks.

Here’s the thing about my “secrets”, they allow me to spend time where I think it is most important, and allow me to not beat myself up when my house is a little messier than I’d like, or it takes a week to put the laundry away. Because I know that I am focusing my time and my productivity on the items that truly matter to me, I don’t stress as much about everything else.