Continuing our theory that a budget is like a diet- an effort to fundamentally change your relationship with money –its important to note that in any long term budget, you MUST give yourself some wiggle room. Just like if you deny yourself any sweets for months on end, one night your bound to end up eating an entire quart of ice cream in one sitting, if you deny yourself any fun money for too long, one day you’re going to go out and blow everything on a new flat screen.

In our budget, we have two treating ourselves categories. The first is eating out. We accept the fact that we aren’t going to make dinner at home every night, or that sometimes we’re going to want to go out to a meal with friends. We build that into our budget.

In addition, we both get monthly allowances. (If the word “allowance” bothers you, call it fun money, pocket change, whatever. The name isn’t important. The concept is.) Our allowances are there to cover new clothes, personal grooming, books, movies, etc. We can also use our allowance toward eating out, if that’s what we want.

By having a monthly allowance, we can spend little bits here and there or save up for major fun purchases- things we want (vs things we need). In the last year, both my husband and I have built ourselves new computers. The money for these came out of our allowances.

Allowances also don’t have to be equal. Mine is larger than my husband’s. The main reason for this is that I have more personal expenses than he does. My job requires that I look professional, ie wardrobe and grooming. My husband is currently a student. He can wear jeans and t-shirts all day and not worry about getting a hair cut. It is also slightly more expensive to be a woman- hair cuts cost more, slacks cost more (there’s no real Dockers equivalent for business casual women), even things like deodorant and disposable razors cost more if they’re pink. (The last two come from our grocery budget, but still.)

The important thing is that we can both still take part in retail therapy should we want to. Or go have a beer (or coffee) with a friend without worrying about messing up the budget.

Shortly after we switched to the allowance system, I gave up my acrylic nails. This may not sound like a big deal, but I had had acrylic nails for 9 years straight. Still, looking at the time and money it took to maintain them, and taking a look at the time and money I had to spend, I decided they were no longer worth it. I still go get a manicure now and then, but it not only costs less per visit, I don’t need to go to the salon once every 2-3 weeks.

Being on a budget isn’t about constantly telling yourself no. Its not about denial. Its about choices. Giving yourself the freedom to make choices along with the information needed to make good ones is empowering. And everyone needs a little wiggle room to celebrate empowerment.