The Cult of the Dream Job
This is, in the words of Sam from Financial Samurai, a whale post. I usually try to break essays like this into two posts, but I think this one works best as a single piece. It was, appropriately enough, inspired by Sam’s own whale post- a guest post over at Untemplater called Quit Your Job and Die Alone, which is about looking honestly at revenue vs profits when making the decision to quit your day job to live the dream job.
My Background
When I started college, my plan was to become a high school math teacher. That ended after I got a D the second time I took Calculus II. And that’s fine. I don’t think I would have liked being a teacher. My major switched to History with a minor in English. I didn’t decide until my final (6th) year of college whether that would be English Lit or Writing. I chose writing.
I had two plans for when I graduated. The first was to go on and get a Masters in Museum Studies. (My college offered a minor in Museum Studies, but I would not have been able to meet it’s requirements and still kept my day job, and paying the bills won out over my perfect minor.) I researched which colleges offered the Masters program- there weren’t many, and narrowed down the options of where I wanted to go.
My plan, because I knew my overall GPA would not be stellar, was to move to the area I wanted to go to school, get a job, volunteer as a docent at a local museum, establish residency (in the cases where I was looking at state schools), and generally find ways to get the schools to consider me despite my less than stellar undergrad GPA.
Then, in my last semester of school, I considered joining the Peace Corps. I more than considered it. I completed the application and the interviews. I was basically waiting on them to give me an assignment, and I dropped out. I dropped out because I realized that I felt like my life was on hold until after I got back for the Peace Corps.
If I had felt like my life was on hold until I got my assignment, that would have been one thing. But instead I felt like I was on hold until after completing my two years. That wasn’t the right attitude to go in with, and I knew it. So, I withdrew myself from consideration.
At the time, C and I were having some relationship issues (that would have made leaving easier, actually), but we worked them out. We had a number of friends who were relocating to the Seattle area. The University of Washington was one of the less than 10 schools in the country to offer a Masters in Museum Studies.
We moved toSeattle. I got a job. I changed my driver’s license right away to help establish residency. I decided that it would be good to get myself back in the habit of taking classes again before applying for a masters program, and it would also then give me a teacher recommendation based on my current work ethic, not my tumultuous undergrad years. (Which were only two years prior.)
UW has an extension program that offers certificate courses to anyone who already has a Bachelor’s degree. But they don’t offer any in Museum Studies. Since I loved writing and had minored in it, I decided to take a writing course. I took two years worth of writing certificate courses from UW.
During those two years, C and I got engaged, bought a house (50 miles away), got a second dog, and got married. I left the program thinking I still wanted a Masters degree, but now I was thinking MFA.
Paying the Bills
While we lived in Reno, I spent three years as a medical receptionist. When we moved to Seattle, I decided I would never do that again. But while in my second year of certificate courses, I realized that I wasn’t being paid what I felt I was worth, and that there wasn’t really room for me to advance at the company I was with. I started looking. For months I would not even look at the jobs with healthcare companies. But while I was getting interviews, nothing was paying that much more than what I was making. I was not finding the jobs I was looking for.
I gave in and started looking at administrative jobs in healthcare. I decided it would be fine as long as I no longer had to do the intensive customer service I had had to do as a medical receptionist.
I got a job. I was now making enough money that C and I could afford to buy a house closer in (no more 50 mile each way commute). Less than a year after I started, we had a new house, and I got a promotion.
I was doing a combination of administrative and analytical work. I was in charge of the budget for everyone reporting up through an executive director. I liked my boss. I liked my company. I liked the work I was doing and the overall work my company did. And I was getting paid a decent amount of money.
Two years after completing the second of my certificate programs, I was back in school earning a Master’s degree. But it was not in Museum Studies or Fine Arts. I was getting an MBA.
My Dreams
Let me be honest. My dream job would still be as a museum curator who write best selling novels in her spare time. But that is the dream job. It is not my overall life dream.
I have regrets (not major ones, I am very happy with my life) about not going in to the Peace Corps. I dream of C and I being able to take 2 years at some point and go together (this is not uncommon).
C and I have a passion for animals. Our retirement goal is to buy a large piece of land and to run our own no kill animal rescue.
I want to write a novel, have it published (by a publisher, not self), but not have to worry about whether it is a best seller or not.
Those are the dreams.
My Decisions
When I decided to go back to school for my Master’s, I had to make a decision. I could get the degree that would put me on the path to my dream job of museum curator. I could get the degree that would lend me “cred” as a writer. Or I could get the degree that would help me in my current field- a field I liked and was good at –that would pay me enough that I could work toward the other dreams.
Let’s say that again. I could get the degree for the dream job, or I could get the degree that would help me live my dreams. And for me, there really was a difference.
I like my job. I am good at my job. I am well paid for doing my job. I intend to stay in healthcare for my entire working career, though perhaps not with my current company. (I would like to move to a major global health organization.) It is not my dream job. But that’s okay. Work does not have to be the dream.
We are working toward other dreams.
When we bought the house “in town”, I got back in touch with my writing critique group from my classes. We’ve been meeting every other week for almost 7 years now. Some people have completed novels, some have been published. I have been a little to wish-washy, but I am now sending my short stories to publishers and am over half way through writing a novella (the opening chapters of which will be critiqued at a major conference in April).
This coming weekend, C and I hope to welcome our first foster dog from one of the private rescues in our area.
C is back in school and will hopefully have his own Master’s degree in 3.5 years.
We live comfortably on my income, so when he starts working again, every penny he makes will be able to go toward retirement, being able to take 2 years and serve in the Peace Corps, buying land and building the necessary buildings for running our dog rescue.
Maybe some day we will even go volunteer at an archeological dig, or I may volunteer as a docent at a local museum.
Dream Job vs Dream Life
From the time we are young, we are told “find a job you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” I don’t believe that. No matter how much you love your job, there will always be duties and tasks you do not like. There will always be days you work.
I am tired of the cult of the dream job. We can not all work at our dream jobs- whether it is because it is an incredibly small field (like museum curator) or because it is no one’s dream job to be a grocery clerk, but someone still needs to be.
I am not saying people should not have dream jobs, that they should not work toward them. We need people with passion for what they do. We want to live in a world that has museums and writers and game designers.
What I am saying is that the dream job should not be our only dream. Not getting the dream job should not mean the end of our dreams. Our job, dream or not, is just one aspect of our lives. I’m at work 45 hours a week. I sleep 42 hours a week. That still leaves me with another 81 hours a week. Where is the dream more important to me? For 45 hours or 81?
My goal is to make my life into my dreams come true. My job is one aspect, one tool, to accomplish that.
So next time you are considering a job change for any reason, I want you to ask yourself one question, and it is not “Is this my dream job?”. Ask yourself instead “Will this job help me make my dreams come true?”
Hi Erin,
I hope this does become your Whale Post! Thanks for sharing your story. It really is difficult to get that "dream job". And frankly, sometimes if we do get it, it might not turn out to be what we wanted immediately, or years down the road.
A job is a job. And if one loves it, that is a huge bonus. We should all at least like our jobs 60-70% of the time, otherwise, we should find another.
I have a relative who was a curator at a large state capital museum. Pretty neat!
Sam
Thanks for stopping by!
This is one of those things I talk a lot about with my cousins who are just now in college and trying to figure out what they want to do with their lives. I try to let them know that they don't have to have the answers at 18, and that the dream job doesn't have to be the goal. The dream life is the goal, and your job is just one aspect of that life.
I was a history major. My brother was an archaeology major. It's one of those things that runs in our family. Of course, neither of us make our living that way. We do have a cousin who was a curator for the local museum in the town my father's family is from.
Having your dream job does not necessarily mean that other "dreams" in your life are fulfilled. Scientists spend years getting their Ph. d degree and then make very little. Thus, if you are a scientist with other hobbies…you better be in love with your job because you aren't going to be able to afford the hobbies.
I have come to realize that at least for me, using my skill set in a job setting or for volunteer work or at home helps me fulfill my "dreams" even if I do not get paid for it.
Like so many things, I think it has to be a balancing act. I don't want anyone to give up on their dreams. But I do think that they might want to prioritize them.
I think your goal of buying land and opening a no-kill shelter is awesome! if it ever becomes a reality please let me know and I would be happy to support it!
I've told C a couple of times that my biggest problem with him not having a job these last almost 3 years is that we haven't been able to take advantage of the incredibly low real estate prices to buy the land for our retirement now. But honestly, the area where we're interested in buying land was depressed before our recent recession and I don't expect it to bounce back quickly, so we probably have at least a five year window still to get land at or near the current prices.
I like the honesty of the post and the fact that you have it figured out. Yes, for most people, most of the time a job is just a job. I would rather have a dream life and a job as part of that, than a dream job and life as part of that. And I hope you get your land soon.
I don't know that I have it completely figured out. But we have a plan for now. I also prefer to have the dream life with the job as just one component of that.
Having changed my major and landed far from where I planned and still pursuing an education in something yet even more different, I can really relate!
Finding a job that you enjoy is very uncommon. I'm you've found something that is a good fit for you.
I was also intrigued by your critique group. I've been looking for something similar. Often, I'm so busy blogging, I'm not busy being a better writer. Funny how that can be.
My critique group has been part of my life much longer than blogging, and as much as I like blogging, I'd give it up before I gave up them.
The key, in my mind, to a successful critique group is to establish rules and norms and make sure you all adhere to them. The base of our group all had the same teacher, so when we formed, we already had her rules and norms ingrained in us. We've made minor changes over the years, but when we bring someone new in, we make sure to talk about why we do things the way we do just get everyone on the same page.
Almost 7 years in, and we're still going strong, so it seems to be working so far.
It sounds as if you have made peace with the difficult choices you've had to make. Many people never do, and are unhappy and make their family unhappy with their lack of fulfillment. Keep it up!
The funny part is, they didn't really seem like that difficult of choices. For the later ones, I sat down and talked with C about not just what I wanted out of my life but what we wanted out of our lives (because my dream life includes him always), and we made the decisions that made the most sense for reaching our goals. In that way, they were easy.
I learned the hard part- that I can be a little wishy-washy, and I shouldn't beat myself up for changing my goals, back in the days of undergrad.
A dream life is the ultimate goal, compared to just leaving it at the level of dream job. Thinking holistically, having a great life can include many different components – relationships, health, wealth, etc. A job is a factor, but not an end in itself. Plus, many jobs are truly not forever anyway. While I do think that job/career satisfaction can play a big role in one's overall quality of life and happiness, it's not an end goal and is simply a component. It's very possible to have an amazing life, while the "job" part of it is only partially fulfilling and just a job.
I agree completely. I really wish people would stop pushing the idea of the dream job. And I'm not really talking about bloggers here, but I know it's being pushed because I talk to my cousins who are in their first couple years of college, and they are positive that their lives will be miserable if they don't get a specific type of job after getting their degrees. College kids have a million other pressures on them. They need to know it's happy to live a dream life, even if the job is just a job.
I read somewhere that more than 50% of americans are unsatisfied with their current jobs. The number could be higher actually, not sure. People have jobs to make ends meet and look forward to retirement so they don't have to work anymore. Dream jobs I think is just a fantasy people made up to make us feel like we're pursuing something.
Like I say, we need someone to be the grocery store clerk (or medical receptionist) but those are never going to be people's dream jobs. I'm actually tired of the fantasy of the dream job. Forget the dream job, the job is just one aspect of your life. Build your dream life.
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I used to have a "dream job" – I worked for a small art gallery, plus helped a friend train horses on the side for fun and "extra" money. I didn't have much time to work with my own horse, was constantly exhausted and was barely making enough to get by. I was beyond lucky that the horse, dogs & cats didn't have a vet emergency during that whole time, since I had minimal savings and no credit cards. I had to worry about finding an affordable apartment that that allowed pets & a stable where the horse had a decent amount of time outside, also not cheap.
I also had to deal with medical issues from an accident that made riding out of the question for a long time, so I found the horse a great forever home, which freed up a bit of money each month. You would not believe the amount of flack I got for "giving up on a dream" and "worrying too much about money". This from the same friends who used to complain that I never had any time, money or energy to go out.
I've worked in an office for the past 10 years, and some friends wonder how I can stand it after having an artistic job & an outdoor job. I generally work 9 to 5, have nights & weekends off, plus tuition reimbursement and the time to take classes. We were able to save up and buy an affordable small house, which is so much better than renting with pets. If I hadn't taken an office job I wouldn't have had the time or money for classes or a house. It's also really nice to not be bone-tired, broke and stressed all the time!
I really do think balance is the key. It can't be that much of a dream job is you're spending all your time worrying about how to pay the bills.
[…] written before that I do not believe in the dream job. I believe in the dream life and a job is just one part of that. But that doesn’t mean that I […]
[…] we welcome Well Kept Wallet to the Yakezie family. I’m still of the mind that you should find a job that lets you live your dream life, but Deacon makes the argument that you should love what you do. Share […]