Seeking Perfection

I’m becoming one of them. Just a couple weeks ago, I wrote about the perfect being the enemy of the good in animal adoptions. Holding adoptable pets until the perfect home is found instead of settling for good enough does a disservice to all pets in shelters and rescues. I believe that with all my soul.

But Howie has moved in to my heart, and I get it. I know exactly what a perfect home for him would look like, and that’s what I want most for him. But here’s the thing, or the couple of things.

1) We don’t even know if Howie is considered adoptable or not. We’re still waiting for the results from the urinalysis taken on Friday. He’s also 10-12 years old, more likely 12, according to the vet. He really is a senior dog. If he is not considered adoptable, well than, he’s welcome to stay with us.

2) We are NOT the perfect home for Howie. And yet, I have no compunction about keeping him. I know we can love him and care for him as needed. So if I think he will be well enough loved and cared for in our less than perfect home, why should I think any different of a potential forever home that does not meet my definition of perfect?

Howie is so people oriented. All he wants is to be next to someone getting petted. He doesn’t even get up on the furniture. (Being the less than perfect people we are, we’re trying to break him of his good habits and teach him bad ones- but if he’s on the couch next to me, he can lie down and still be petted, which doesn’t happen if he’s on the floor.)

He’s making progress with our dogs. We saw some play like behavior this weekend, and this morning, he appeared to initiate some play with Junebug. She instantly dashed off for a game of chase and Howie started to follow her. Then Larry got involved and Howie backed off (Larry and June being young ones play a little rougher than would be good for Howie to be involved in, anyway.). But he’s definitely gaining confidence around them and perking up in general. And this is good for him, and yet, in my mind, his perfect home wouldn’t have other dogs.

What do I think Howie’s perfect home would be? Easy, an only dog living with a retired person (or couple) who spends most of their time around the house, perhaps taking a nice slow walk around the neighborhood once or twice a day. Slow because Howie is rarely in a hurry to go anywhere. And when they do go out, Howie would go with them- he’s an excellent car dog.

Considering Howie is a senior dog, maybe we’re more likely to get a perfect home looking for him. But could I deny him any home that wants to love him and shower him with attention? I haven’t had a chance to test him with kids yet (my concern is that kids might stress him out with all their energy, but if he gets used to June and Larry, maybe not so much), but I don’t think I could say a family couldn’t adopt him just because they had kids. I would want to see Howie interact with the family first.

Howie was adopted out once before he came to us, but only for a few days. He had tummy troubles and was brought back. Was this because of stress? Was it just bad timing and he had a bug? Was it the food they were feeding? I don’t know. And I certainly don’t want another failed adoption for him, but I don’t think having arbitrary rules like “only dog”, “no kids”, “home all day” is the answer to a successful adoption.

And while I would love to go visit him in a new forever home, I’m not actually certain what I think of that. I mean, how would I have responded if the rescue organizations my dogs came from had said- oh, we’re going to visit you in a couple weeks and decide then if you really get to keep the dog or not. I would not have been a fan.

So my answer to finding Howie a new home, if a new home is what is in store for him? I just want to go to the adoption events with him. I want to see potential adopters interact with him. Howie has a tremendous capacity for love, and honestly, his perfect home is any home that can return that love.

KimT says:

February 14, 2012 at 10:56 am

I can't tell you how wonderful it is to hear you say this! Those of us working so feverishly in rescue often fall into an "in an ideal world" mentality. And ultimately it hurts the very animals we seek to help. Too often, we realize later that what we thought would be mandatory requirements for a pet – aren't really necessary. At the very least, our tunnel thinking keeps them from being adopted into loving homes, counter to our purpose. If we give it a little time and keep an open mind about anyone who is genuinely interested in a pet, we just might be pleasantly surprised with amazing happy-endings!

(I'm not crazy about post-adoption home-checks, either; I prefer to keep in touch via calls, emails, etc initiated by the adopter. A brief message sent if I haven't heard from them and I'm wondering how things are going, usually takes care of that.)

Here's to Howie finding his Forever Home!

Erin Shanendoah says:

February 14, 2012 at 11:17 am

I think the key thing for me to remember is that my home would be on no one's list of perfect homes for various and sundry reasons from no fenced yard to dog parks to we have jobs, etc, and yet I know I provide my dogs with a wonderful life. I have to be open to that possibility for Howie, too.

2 Punk Dogs says:

February 15, 2012 at 11:11 am

I'm so glad you wrote this! We both work full time, our yard is not fenced, and there aren't any dog parks nearby for socialization. We also have 4 cats, which is an issue with some rescues. Luckily the Mr. works nearby and can walk the punks at lunch, plus we have an awesome(friendly and affordable) vet that makes house calls. Maggie & Duke go for a minimum of 4 leash walks a day in the fields, and get to run & play with my parents' dog at their fenced farm on the weekends. There are a few rescues who will NOT adopt large dogs to people with unfenced yards, which seems a little counterproductive. I got the dogs as walking partners, not as lawn ornaments!

Erin Shanendoah says:

February 15, 2012 at 11:20 am

It is a really tough thing, I have to admit. I am not perfect. That does not stop me from wanting perfect for Howie (he's just so sweet), but I also have to remember that if I accept good enough for him, that opens my house to one more dog Old Dog Haven can take. More than anything, Howie needs love, and there are lots of homes, perfect or close enough, that can provide that.

Pup Fan says:

February 15, 2012 at 10:05 pm

I enjoyed reading your thoughts on this issue – I read a post on Slate about this same thing a few weeks ago, actually. I thought that article was too hard on the rescue groups (and a bit biased – plus, don't even get me started on the ire the comments caused), but it did get me thinking that there has to be a middle ground out there somewhere.

Erin Shanendoah says:

February 16, 2012 at 1:31 am

I wrote about the Slate article (I linked to my post about it in the first line of this post). I did not read the comments because I know better than to do that on a site like Slate.

The problem is, even if it's anecdotal evidence that shelters are pickier than breeders, people will stop going to shelters.

I do agree there needs to be a middle ground, and we're going to attempt to find it. I honestly believe young kids will stress Howie out too much, and so don't think I'd let him go to a home with small kids, but older kids would be fine.

There has to be a balance between doing what's right for the dog currently in your care but also what's right for all the other dogs sitting in kill shelters.