Lets Start With the Hard Stuff

Guilt, anger, sorrow. There is often as much pain involved in losing a pet as there in losing a (human) friend or family member. Sometimes more. When I was a child, I cried longer and harder when our German Shepherd died than I did when my grandmother died. The dog had been a part of my daily life, a fixture from the day I was born. She hadn’t.
I still experience moments of guilt over Moree. Not so much could we have done more or done it sooner. I don’t think there was much we could have done to change the outcome (other than catching on sooner that he was eating a bath towel), but about his last moments. He went for surgery. We saw him after surgery. The next morning we got a call and he was doing fine, so we went ahead with our plans for the day, knowing we would visit him that afternoon.
Then the call came, maybe an hour or so before we would have headed to the vets. He was crashing. Intestinal surgery always runs a high risk of going septic. We got there as soon as we could, but he wasn’t conscious anymore. He passed with our hands in his hair, our voices in his ears. But for the last 18 hours of his conscious life, we weren’t there, and for that, I feel guilty.
I don’t much care whether or not there’s a heaven for me when I die, but I believe in one fiercely for our pets. May they forever be doing the things they love and curling up at night on a soft bed, with full bellies and a gentle hand letting them know how much they are loved.
I have dedicated this blog to Moree, but really, its for all pets, those past, present and future. It is to share the memories, the funny stories and the infuriating ones. So that when the guilt, anger and sorrow are gone, there is still the love of a life by pets.