Pets as Gifts

I want to start by saying that I am not against pets as gifts in all situations. I wrote a couple of Christmases ago for That Mutt about two situations where pets were given as gifts, and I was all behind it. You’ll hear another story about that today.

The point of Tuesday’s post was more about what C and I are trying to teach SP. For 9.5 years, she did not live with C and I. She does not come from a place where pets are family members, where they are a lifetime commitment and joy. And so, one of the ways to help get this message through to her is our policy that living creatures aren’t gifts or rewards. She does not get to ask for a bunny for being good or for one for her birthday.

That does not mean that we will never have a bunny (it’s possible we could end up with a house where there’s a safe place to keep one). Nor does it mean she won’t have to do some things to earn the bunny. That may not sound like there’s a difference to some people, but there is one to me.

The difference is forethought, planning, and time frame. When we say, I need you to this for me, and you will get something for it, asking for a pet is not acceptable. There’s no thought or planning that goes into this, only want. And it’s pretty immediate.

Earning a pet is another story. It means this is something you have been thinking about and talking to the family about. You plan for it. It takes time to earn it.

Maybe the difference is only semantics to some people, but as a writer, I believe words do matter. And in my experience, something that is earned tends to be valued longer and more by children (as in actually taken care of), than something that was just given to them.

This remains forefront in my mind because on the financial message boards I am a member of, we occasionally talk about pets. And right now, there is a thread from a lady who is considering getting her son a dog as a birthday gift.

People see that phrase and often instantly react, without reading the actual situation. In this case, the entire family wants a dog, but their 15 year old son wants one even more. When he has the opportunity to be around dogs, he is devoted to them. The family dog sits for their family, and in those cases, the 15 year old does most of the care and looking after of the dog. They are nearly inseparable. In fact, they’ve been looking for a dog for over 3 years. They want a particular breed (the same breed they dog sit) that is not super common, so they have not been able to find one reasonably close to them via petfinder.

They recently found a family that was breeding a single litter. The timing of the puppies being ready to go to their new families coincides with the son’s birthday. And how thrilled would he be to get a dog.

I have no problems with this. The family has talked and planned. The parents want the dog as much as the kid. (In fact, the mom is kind of looking forward to the kid going to college in 3 years and then getting the dog to herself.) The son has proven that he is able and willing to care for a pet and continues to show is love of dogs on all occasions.  This is a set up for success, whether the dog is labeled a gift or not does not change that.

So I am not against children earning pets. I am not against pets as gifts when the timing works out that way. The difference, as always, remains planning and forethought.

Maybe I said it poorly before, so let me rephrase. Pets are not rewards, they are rewarding commitments.