Missing what was, and moving forward

Grief is an odd thing. You never stop loving or missing those no longer in your life, but gradually, your daily routine takes you further away from the days when they were there, and you think about them less and less often.

Still, there are moments when the emptiness comes flowing back.

The day after we got Larry, I was in the room with both dogs curled up on the bed while C was in the shower. I looked at my two cute, little dogs (together they weigh less than 60lbs), and I was overcome by missing my boys.

Moree and Smokey were the dogs of our early marriage, the dogs of our first house. They took up plenty of space on the bed, but jig sawed around us as needed. Seeing two completely different dogs curled up on my bed, well, it just really hit home that my boys were gone, and that our life is different than it was. (Not in a bad way, just different.)

After my mini-breakdown (which was over by the time C got out of the shower), it also occurred to me – I used to have 130+lbs of dog, now I’ve only got 60lbs of dog. That means I have room for another 70lbs, right?